New Year’s resolutions, Goals, Plans, and Hopeful futures.
Individuals
say they’re important. They make us happier and help us accomplish
more. Some would even go so far as saying, “they’re the cornerstone of a
fulfilled and productive life.” Are goals and resolutions intertwined in reality and faith? YES! 100%
But what about when goals make us unhappy? What
happens when we get so wrapped up in chasing goals that we can’t be
happy in the present anymore? What happens when get miss our mark and
become implosive?
I tend to set and pursue goals like
most people do, but more and more I’m wondering where it all leads. Is
life supposed to be a series of goal planning/chasing/accomplishing
cycles?
Where does it all lead?
My
dad and I recently had a conversation about this topic. It was
interesting to hear his perspective as he’s been fully retired for five
years. “Trevor, the concept of goals is a good thing but you have to
hold it in balance with life. Maybe goals are like digital cameras. If
you spend an entire vacation behind your camera taking pictures, videos,
and then editing things - do you really experience the vacation? Sure,
you captured some shots to look at later, but how often will you really
look back on them? If you spend every moment chasing goals, you may just
miss what’s happening around you - right now.”
This cause me to ask some personal questions, review my overall purpose....
If
goals over the past years have been making you feel a bit insane, here
are a four simple ideas for planning less and living more:
+) Set goals for the present.
We tend to think of goals as being in the future. What about the present? Why not set goals for the present? Try balancing your future goals with present goals as well. Set
goals for living in the moment. Set goals for being present during your
activities and meetings. Set goals for forgetting about the future for a
while. Try making a goal to fully engage with your activities today. If
you’re with other people, really be there. If you’re relaxing, really
relax. If you’re doing something, really do it. Be fully in the moment where you are at.
+) Set goals for tank fillers, not tank drainers.
Sometimes
goals make us a bit insane simply because we try to control things that
cannot be controlled! We usually can’t control outcomes, but people
set goals as if they can. For example, let’s say you set a goal to lose
10 pounds over the next month. Can you really control that specific
outcome? What if you do everything you possibly can and still don’t
achieve your goal?
Outcome-specific goals often set us up for failure
and ultimately will drain your tank.
Instead of focusing on the outcome,
try setting goals for what you can control. If you want to lose 10
pounds, what actions can you take to make that outcome more likely? You
can eat less, eat specific foods and exercise more.
Set
goals for the specific steps you’ll take, like eating certain things or
a certain number of calories, or doing certain exercises for a certain
amount of time every day. These small goals or steps become big
victories and tank fillers as you set goals for the actions you have
control over, and then let the outcome happen as it will verses being so
focused on the exact target. Just maybe life is experience a bit more
in the margins or freedom to make adjustments verses being so dialed in
on one target.
+)Live without goals for a while.
Most
of us accept that goals are a requirement for a happy, productive life.
Somehow this has become part of our societal values. But what if you
could live without goals entirely? What if goals were actually holding you back?
Leo
from Zen Habits has been living without goals for a while and says it’s
liberating and that he’s been accomplishing more now without goals than
he did before with them.
Living without goals doesn’t mean you don’t do
anything. It simply means that you let your passion guide you and don’t
put limits on where you let your days take you. Life is a grand
journey. *If you try this, please let me know how your life changes as a result.
Take time out for gratitude.
Scientific
studies have shown that the simple act of writing down things you’re
thankful for can make you happier.
In a 2003 study, people who wrote
down five things they were grateful for that had happened in the last
week for 10 weeks felt 25% happier than people in the study who
didn’t.
These people were also more optimistic about the future, they
felt better about their lives and they even did almost 1.5 hours more
exercise a week than the other people in the study who didn’t do the
simple act of writing down what they were grateful for.
Goal setting can be useful, but it can also be taken to extremes that become counter-productive.
If
you’ve living according to goals but haven’t been much happier,
consider what you’re trying to achieve. Could you change your
goal-setting strategy and enjoy your life more? Are you chasing goals
for their own sake?
There is always a future, but there is only one present, and ooohhh what a gift that truly is!
Embrace the change that you need to take in order to live life to the fullest possible degree!
-Trevor Drinen
email me: webservices@drinenfamily.org
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