Individuals say they’re important. They make us happier and help us accomplish more. Some would even go so far as saying, “they’re the cornerstone of a fulfilled and productive life.” Are goals and resolutions intertwined in reality and faith? YES! 100%
But what about when goals make us unhappy? What happens when we get so wrapped up in chasing goals that we can’t be happy in the present anymore? What happens when get miss our mark and become implosive?
I tend to set and pursue goals like most people do, but more and more I’m wondering where it all leads. Is life supposed to be a series of goal planning/chasing/accomplishing cycles?
Where does it all lead?
My dad and I recently had a conversation about this topic. It was interesting to hear his perspective as he’s been fully retired for five years. “Trevor, the concept of goals is a good thing but you have to hold it in balance with life. Maybe goals are like digital cameras. If you spend an entire vacation behind your camera taking pictures, videos, and then editing things - do you really experience the vacation? Sure, you captured some shots to look at later, but how often will you really look back on them? If you spend every moment chasing goals, you may just miss what’s happening around you - right now.”
This cause me to ask some personal questions, review my overall purpose....
If goals over the past years have been making you feel a bit insane, here are a four simple ideas for planning less and living more:
+) Set goals for the present.
We tend to think of goals as being in the future. What about the present? Why not set goals for the present? Try balancing your future goals with present goals as well. Set goals for living in the moment. Set goals for being present during your activities and meetings. Set goals for forgetting about the future for a while. Try making a goal to fully engage with your activities today. If you’re with other people, really be there. If you’re relaxing, really relax. If you’re doing something, really do it. Be fully in the moment where you are at.
+) Set goals for tank fillers, not tank drainers.
Sometimes goals make us a bit insane simply because we try to control things that cannot be controlled! We usually can’t control outcomes, but people set goals as if they can. For example, let’s say you set a goal to lose 10 pounds over the next month. Can you really control that specific outcome? What if you do everything you possibly can and still don’t achieve your goal? Outcome-specific goals often set us up for failure and ultimately will drain your tank. Instead of focusing on the outcome, try setting goals for what you can control. If you want to lose 10 pounds, what actions can you take to make that outcome more likely? You can eat less, eat specific foods and exercise more.
Set goals for the specific steps you’ll take, like eating certain things or a certain number of calories, or doing certain exercises for a certain amount of time every day. These small goals or steps become big victories and tank fillers as you set goals for the actions you have control over, and then let the outcome happen as it will verses being so focused on the exact target. Just maybe life is experience a bit more in the margins or freedom to make adjustments verses being so dialed in on one target.
+)Live without goals for a while.
Most of us accept that goals are a requirement for a happy, productive life. Somehow this has become part of our societal values. But what if you could live without goals entirely? What if goals were actually holding you back?
Leo from Zen Habits has been living without goals for a while and says it’s liberating and that he’s been accomplishing more now without goals than he did before with them. Living without goals doesn’t mean you don’t do anything. It simply means that you let your passion guide you and don’t put limits on where you let your days take you. Life is a grand journey. *If you try this, please let me know how your life changes as a result.
Take time out for gratitude.
Scientific studies have shown that the simple act of writing down things you’re thankful for can make you happier. In a 2003 study, people who wrote down five things they were grateful for that had happened in the last week for 10 weeks felt 25% happier than people in the study who didn’t. These people were also more optimistic about the future, they felt better about their lives and they even did almost 1.5 hours more exercise a week than the other people in the study who didn’t do the simple act of writing down what they were grateful for.
Goal setting can be useful, but it can also be taken to extremes that become counter-productive.
If you’ve living according to goals but haven’t been much happier, consider what you’re trying to achieve. Could you change your goal-setting strategy and enjoy your life more? Are you chasing goals for their own sake?
There is always a future, but there is only one present, and ooohhh what a gift that truly is!
Embrace the change that you need to take in order to live life to the fullest possible degree!
-Trevor Drinen
email me: webservices@drinenfamily.org
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