OBSERVATION
As I visualize this setting - I see Peter and his friends getting into a boat one evening to cross the Sea of Galilee. Peter was a veteran boater-he’d been on boats his whole life fishing with has family daily. However, as the sun set a storm began to arise. Not a light or with a gentle breeze either. the gospel record within Matthew says the boat was “tormented” by the waves. “Tormented!” It was so violent that the only the men could do was to attempt to keep the boat upright - aka: bail water & hope... - no navigating - no fishing - sleepless, endless fighting to keep the boat from not capsizing. (Ever seen the perfect storm?) Imagine what state of mind these sailors were in six hours later - adrienne all but gone - operating out of a pure state of exhaustion - picture the faces of those men who have next to no sea experience / hear their screams.... -
Then someone noticed a shadow moving toward them on the water. As it go closer, it became apparent that it was the figure of a human being - walking on the water - a ghost or spirit! (Take a moment to process that - I for one might have to check my paints....). The crew was convinced a ghost was approaching, and so they became terrified and started to cried out in fear and desperation.
Often in the middle of storms tormented by waves of disappointment, doubt, and helplessness, I am no better a recognizing the presence of who approaches than the crew. As I reread the story I get a small since that the writer is wanted me (the reader) to know that Jesus often come when least expected -hours into a storm.
Another aspect not discussed a lot - twelve men sat in the boat, and we don’t know how eleven of them responded. Perhaps with confusion, wonder, disbelief, fear, or a mixture of each - but one of them - Peter recognized this wasn’t a ghost or mere illusion. Peter calls out to this figure - this water walker, “If it’s you, command me to come to you on the water.” For some time I have been intrigued why the writer includes this detail? Why doesn’t Peter just jump out onto the water? Hmmm.... Is this story about faith, risk taking or obedience - or a mixture of the three? Courage alone is not enough; it must be accompanied by wisdom and discernment. Here the writer is not glorifying risk taking for its own sake as much as I would like - this means before Peter gets out of the boast he had better make sure Jesus things it’s a good idea. (faith/reality - aka: a God idea verses just a good idea). So, we hear Peter asking for clarity, “If it is you, command me....” And in the midst of tossing waves, I think Jesus smiled.
As I put myself in Peter’s place for a moment - seeing a figure on the water - thinking I heard Jesus and find myself asking Him to confirm things. Inwardly questioning, “Is He really inviting me out? “ “Is He really asking me to come and follow Him?” Honestly, I would I’m scared to death - would I have the courage to test the waters or would I cowrie back and watch another step out? If I don’t move there’s a guaranteed certainty that I will never walk on the water. I might continually look back and wonder: “what if....?”
I think there’s something here.
- Something internally goes off - acknowledging there is more to life than cowering in a boat.
- I was made for more than merely avoiding risk or failure.
What am I putting my trust in, especially when life gets stormy? What is providing me with a sense of comfort to the degree that I don’t want to give it up even if it’s keeping me from flourishing and joining Jesus out on the water? What is pulling me away from risk taking, high adventure? Is it the lack of courage? The grip of some underlying fear....? (Hmmm.... what is it that most produces fear in me - especially when I think of leaving it behind and stepping out in faith? Leaving this place of fear may be the hardest things I’ve ever done - as it may require me returning to a place where I experienced a great deal of pain). On one hand I question: In what area of my life am I shrinking back from fully and courageously trusting God? Because of the wind, some never decide to step out; while, other step up to the plate and swing (even the best baseball players go down swinging two out of three times). And in the other hand I picture Peter going to the side of the boat - putting one foot over the side, gripping the edge of the boat - then the other foot - sitting on the edge - watching the waves leap forward and slap his against his face - his holding on.... then he let’s go and abandons himself... and reality sets in - setbacks, opposition, unexpected obstacles - a violent gust of wind (all should be expected, but so often we follow Jesus from a perceived illusion of tranquility). It’s here in the midst of processing this and writing it out another question arises as Peter sinks into the water - did Peter fail? (Personal observation about failure: Failure is not an event, but rather a judgment about the outcome of a particular scenario - it’s the way I process outcomes / aka a measuring stick - and something I believe Jesus desires to set me free from). Even through people conclude that Peter failed. I think there were eleven bigger failure sitting in a “tormented” boat - the worst failure is not sinking in the tossing waves - the failure is to cowrie back and get out of the boat due to fear / comfort.
APPLICATION
So where do I go from here? What do I get out of this process? What can I walk away with?
- Responding to Jesus called cause us to step out.
- To know His voice.
- Respond / Step out verses shrink back.
- Failure is an opportunity to grow.
- As soon as Peter asks for help, Jesus is there. He meets Peter right where he is at and helps Peter physically by grabbing ahold of him pulling him from the water. It’s here when Jesus is alone with Peter on the water as the wind blows and the waves crash that Jesus says, “you of little faith, why did you doubt?” It maybe that Jesus id not want to embarrass Peter in front of the other disciples - so privately they have a mentoring moment in the midst of the waves.
- What do I (we) fall? So, I (we) can learn to get back up.
- More than hating to fail, I hate for others people to see me fail.
The finial thing I am walking away with today - is the hardest for me to swallow:
- This story about courage, listening / responding, is also one about waiting.
- The disciples had to wait the storm the fourth watch of the night before Jesus came to them. Why? And what if He passed them by un-noticed - would He come again?
- Recently, Leah and I felt as if Jesus was calling us out in the midst of a storm - only to step out and have Him stay, “wait... and trust...”
- I believe that God’s general method for growing a genuine, deep relationship with me is by asking me to got out of the boat and follow Him. So why would He this time ask me to, “wait?” What is it that most produces fear in me - especially when I think of leaving it behind and stepping out in faith? It’s twofold for me: 1) The fear that God has forgotten me or my voice has fallen silence to His ears. 2) The fear of returning to a place where I experienced a tremendous uncontrollable pain (nothing I could physically do) and see life take seed / flourish.
- It was God that “passed by” and “called me to step out” - shaking everything up - bringing incredible clarity and focus in the midst of inner turmoil / confusion. It’s here I’ve discover another trust - for the first time my life I’m facing the fear of failure via waiting....
- Clarity / Direction: 1) A response to move forward (sell purchased land - hold-fast to action item #1). 2) Actively wait and trust (here’s where fear really creeps in...)
PRAYER
Jesus you are the only one who can meet me where I’m at - in the eye of the storm. Thank you for meeting me today and surrounding me with a few individuals to assist me in processing through all the confusion / inner turmoil. I feel fortunately to have clear direction in the midst of a storm and you calling - yet help me within this internal fear I face as I actively wait. - Trevor
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